Notes from a Teacher's Heart...

3rd Grade....

I know what you're thinking...snot-nosed, little rug rats, perhaps? Well if this is what comes to mind when I say this...YOU...ARE...RIGHT. Ok, I'm sort of kidding..sort of. Just so you know, I am in the process of my first FULL TIME student teaching placement, and it is everything short of being easy. This is by far the most challenging semester I have had so far in my 3 years at university. It is harder than any seminar class, any 20 page research paper assignments, shoot, it's even harder than those dreaded 7 AM classes. It's like I've just become a parent of 20 kids, who are all the same age, and need my full-blown, undivided attention for 8 hours 5 days a week. It isn't any wonder that in a recent study, teaching was ranked one the most high-stress jobs out there...right behind being an air-traffic controller. Wow....maybe I picked the wrong profession. Just kidding...I'm a Calvinist...remember silly?

So why do I continue on? Because of days like today. Days like today make all the frustrations of being a teacher worth it.

What happened today, you ask? Well, let's just say, I made a little boy cry. Now, before you get all bent out of shape...don't worry, I didn't rip up his homework--or something. I simply told Joey VERY FIRMLY to have a seat because he was disturbing his classmates. Well this poor lad couldn't handle such a command, and broke down. Tears were streaming down his face....(was my lesson on contractions THAT good? ;)~ ) Before recess, I told him we needed to talk.

Our little talk made my day. He cried to me, and told me he felt like I hated him! I rubbed his little back and told him that, on the contrary, I indeed loved him, and scolded him BECAUSE I loved him and cared so much for him. He didn't quite get it, but his tears quickly dried up after I explained to him just how important his learning was to me--which is why I moved him.

This talk got me thinking about discipline. I remember being in Joey's shoes, and still find myself there today at times. Why is it, when we are scolded or discplined does it feel like someone "hates" us? After all, to hate someone would be to let them go on in their distructive way, wouldn't it? Isn't one of the most loving things you can do for someone pulling them out of that bad path? I laugh when I think of Joey's comment, because my scolding was the exact opposite of what he thought. I did it because I care for him so much.

It's no wonder that the source of infinite wisdom...the Word of God (Jesus Christ) explains that the Lord himself disciplines those He loves. Hmmm...Proverbs also mentions that if you spare the rod from your children, you HATE them. How fallen man is so quick to distort true love and care. The Lord disciplines those He loves...and I guess the same could be said for teachers :)

My Favorite Pastor

John Piper's anthem:

"God is most glorified in me, when I am most satisfied in Him. This is the motor that drives my ministry as a pastor. It affects everything I do."


For more on this incredible pastor, and the desiring God ministry go to
http://www.desiringgod.org/AboutUs/JohnPiper/

Praise be to YHWH that I stumbled across this website with excellent hymns and poetry by William Cowper and John Newton. This hymn in particular was used of God to minister to my feable soul, that pleads for a CLOSER walk with HIM each day. This has become the cry of my heart, as I recognize my absolute inadaquacy to worship Him as I ought-day by day. "O LORD, bring me CLOSER! I want more of you, for your GLORY"...my heart crys!
O, how the LORD has blessed us with such spiritually rich teachers to equip the saints for the work of ministry, and for building up the body of Christ (Ephesians 4:11)!!!!!

Walking With God

by William Cowper
(Gen. v, 24)

Oh! for a closer walk with GOD,
A calm and heav'nly frame;
A light to shine upon the road
That leads me to the Lamb!
Where is the blessedness I knew
When first I saw the LORD?
Where is the soul-refreshing view
Of JESUS, and his word?
What peaceful hours I once enjoy'd
How sweet their mem'ry still!
But they have left an aching void,
The world can never fill.
Return, O holy Dove, return,
Sweet messenger of rest;
I hate the sins that made thee mourn,
And drove thee from my breast.
The dearest idol I have known,
Whate'er that idol be;
Help me to tear it from thy throne,
And worship only thee.
So shall my walk be close with GOD,
Calm and serene my frame;
So purer light shall mark the road
That leads me to the Lamb.

God's Passion for God's Glory...

I awoke this morning, 7:30am sharp, to the absolute glory of God. Little did I know that lastnight, in the Hilton hotel room I occupied for brief sleeping hours (upon a late arrival into the Twin Cities), that Almighty God of all creation (and probably everyone else on floor 6) heard the cries of a young women-namely, myself- DESPERATE to be saturated for a passion for the glory of God. I had written days before about this night, in my prayer journal. My first night home. I wanted to be like a tree planted by streams of fresh water, that would bear much fruit, so that my spiritually starving family could pick the fruit (planted and harvested by God) and be strengthened! This was the prayer of my heart...however, Saturday night came, and I felt lazy in my soul, and utterly desolate within, searching and pleading for joy in the glory of GOD!

I became so frusterated with myself. Afterall, I thought, THINK about Who I am pleading with!?! THE SOVEREIGN CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE..the TRIUNE GOD WHO RULES AND REIGNS! After this thought, I knew how desperately the eyes of my heart needed to be re-opened. I am coming to learn that this is a daily thing. (WAKE UP EYES OF MY HEART!!!)

I stayed up until the wee hours of the night, pleading with my God. Begging Him to saturate my soul with the passion that has become supreme in my life (by the willing and doing of the LORD), namely the supremacy of the glory of God in all things...I pleaded for the eyes of my heart to be opened. I didn't want to give into passivity with this. Why not fight like heaven for the supremacy of the glory of God in my own troubled heart?! Why would I fight and work so hard for good grades, health, safety on the roads, and all the other things, BUT NOT FIGHT FOR THE ONE REALITY THAT HOLDS ALL THOSE OTHER THINGS TOGETHER BY THE WORD OF HIS POWER, namely JESUS CHRIST?!?! ISN'T HE WORTH FIGHTING FOR?! Isn't His absolute supremacy in my own heart worth staying up all night and pleading for?!?! By the grace of God, He showed me that it was. I spent hours lastnight, earnestly pleading for what a God-entraced vision of all things, experienced so profoundly by Edwards and many other saints.

Anyway, I woke up this morning, and let me tell you...THE SKY screamed of the glory of God. I couldn't help but rejoice in overwhelming ecstasy at the thought of the God of the universe not only hearing my heart cry, not only allowing the sun to rise another day over yet another wicked city, but mainly, over God's own passion for His own glory made manifest through His word, and how He increased the passion within my own heart for His glory by opening the eyes of my heart. To Him be glory forevermore...AMEN.

A New Chapter...

As this semester draws to a close, I can't help but think of one word: suffering.

In comparisson to the suffering going on in much of the world, I almost blush at the thought of saying this semester has been one of "suffering," but can definately say, God has allowed me to experience a slight taste, to which I am utterly grateful. Through this, the sufficient grace of our LORD and SAVIOR Jesus Christ has been greatly manifested to me, and has caused me to rejoice and be glad in it! As stated in Habakkuk 3:17-19 (NASB)

Though the fig tree should not blossom
And there be no fruit on the vines,
Though the yield of the olive should fail
And the fields produce no food,
Though the flock should be cut off from the fold
And there be no cattle in the stalls,
Yet I will exult in the LORD,
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.

I pondered these verses as I stared out my window last Friday night. Rain was pouring down, and I felt locked in--not that I had anywhere to go anyway. I felt as if the LORD God had locked me inside, and allowed me to experience lonliness, homesickness, suffering, but it became way more than just an earthly lonliness for fellowship, or family. I knew the suffering in my heart was the cause of one individual, myself. I had tried so hard to suppress this heartache, by filling myself with the good gifts from Christ...you know, sort of finding comfort and satisfaction in His gifts. OH, how decieved I have been, the LORD showed me. For, I began to try and comfort my afflications and suffering with the good gifts from the HIM, and thereby, came enjoy the gifts more than the Giver. It isn't any surprise that the gifts started to disappear, one by one, throughout the semester. These verses in Habakkuk became my anthem as each good gift vanished. He showed me, that rainy Friday night, that my suffering was a result of treasuring the gifts more than the Giver. With everything in me, my soul crys, "O LORD! MAY IT NEVER BE, AGAIN." But then I reminded of the refining of gold, and the processes it must go through to be refined. Would it ever go through such harsh fires for purification sake, if there wasn't stubble left within it?

O, glory be to my Elohim, because of the unquenchable ache for Christ, and realization of His sovereignty over EVERY kind of suffering...for this He showed me throughout this semester. I looked out the window once more, watched as the rain poured down, and felt comforted. For my God had locked me in that night, gave me answers, and best of all, comforted me with Himself.

MARANATHA!

PSALM 42

As the deer pants for the water brooks,
So my soul pants for You, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God;
When shall I come and appear before God?
My tears have been my food day and night,
While they say to me all day long, "Where is your God?"
These things I remember and I pour out my soul within me
For I used to go along with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God,
With the voice of joy and thanksgiving, a multitude keeping festival.

Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him
For the help of His presence.
O my God, my soul is in despair within me;
Therefore I remember You from the land of the Jordan
And the peaks of Hermon, from Mount Mizar.
Deep calls to deep at the sound of Your waterfalls;
All Your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me.
The LORD will command His lovingkindness in the daytime;
And His song will be with me in the night,
A prayer to the God of my life.

I will say to God my rock, "Why have You forgotten me?
Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?"
As a shattering of my bones, my adversaries revile me,
While they say to me all day long, "Where is your God?"
Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.

John and Noel Piper

http://www.desiringgod.org/library/topics/noel/marriage_riding_tandem.html

This is probably my most favorite article I've read this week, written by Noel Piper. Please read it.